We only have one child – I don’t have enough ‘room to love another child’

A mother-of-one has revealed why she refuses to have another child and says she has ‘no room to love another child’.

Alexandra Garrett, 27, had always wanted to be a mother and was over the moon when she found out she was expecting.

But during her pregnancy, the mother-of-one struggled with health anxiety and was so sick she couldn’t keep food down for 24 weeks.

She ended up hospitalized at 37 weeks with high blood pressure and had to have an emergency C-section to welcome little Emilia, 10 months.

Her little girl is a “dream”, but Alexandra struggled with postpartum anxiety to the point of worrying about taking Emilia in a pram over a bumpy path for fear of shaken baby syndrome.

Her health and finances have prevented Alexandra and her husband, 28, from wanting another child, and she feels there is “no room” to love another child the way she loves Emilia.

The couple are not alone with the birth rate in England and Wales falling to its lowest level since records began, according to the Office for National Statistics (ONS).

Alexandra, a primary school teacher, from Belfast, Northern Ireland, said: “I don’t think I could love another child the way I love him.

“I can’t see that there would be room for another one.

“I like that we only have one child.

“I don’t think he misses life because he doesn’t have siblings.

“She may need siblings, but she needs her mother more.

“Why would I risk it?”

Alexandra had always wanted to be a mother and had thought she would have “one or two”.

She said: “From a young age I said having children was on the cards.

“If you had asked me what I wanted when I grew up – it would have been a mother.”

Alexandra met her husband, who is one of six, when she was 17 and the pair married in 2022 – trying for children straight away.

She said: “She was in high demand.”

Alexandra became pregnant in April 2023, but her health anxiety “increased”.

She said: “I didn’t want to watch scary movies in case it affected her heart rate.

“It was unreasonable things.”

She also suffered badly from the disease and began to realize that she was not sure she would be able to get through pregnancy again.

Alexandra said: “I couldn’t do this to a small child anymore.”

At 30 weeks, her blood pressure spiked – even causing her to go blind for a moment one day.

She was in and out of the hospital and ended up being hospitalized at 37 weeks. After the birth she decided she didn’t think she could have another child for her health.

Alexandra said: “My birth was horrible – I had an emergency caesarean section.

“There was no way I could be a good mother to Emilia and have another child.

“We didn’t know if it would happen again.

“I would do it again for her a million times, but for another child I couldn’t bring myself to do it.”

Alexandra also struggled with postpartum anxiety but got help after eight weeks and is now doing well and enjoying being Emilia’s mum.

She said: “She’s the kind of child who will convince you to have a second one.”

Another reason Alexandra doesn’t want another child is because of finances.

They want to be able to fund as many trips and clubs for Emilia to attend – something they wouldn’t be able to do with another child.

She said: “We are comfortable, but we could not comfortably afford another child.

“We wouldn’t have the money to buy a four-bed house.”

Alexandra posted her views on TikTok and was surprised by the “controversial” reaction.

She said: “The comments were ‘I’m selfish’. ‘You think only of yourself’. ‘You can’t adopt’.

“One said she hoped my husband would leave me for a less selfish woman who would give her half-siblings.

“Another woman tagged me in videos of unhappy only children.

“Wouldn’t it be nice if we could stay outside of other people’s wombs.”

Alexandra thinks the low birth rate is down to a number of things, but said she believes “women realized they had a choice”.

She said: “Being a mother to a man doesn’t make me any less of a mother.

“There’s a lot of guilt – I won’t be able to give her siblings. It’s not in me.

“What if she resents me for this?

“But I live in the present.

“A sibling is not a guaranteed friend.”